Five Ways to Beat the Recession

During this economic downturn that some have labeled a “recession” it is easy to get discouraged and feel like nothing we do will help out the situation. This is where ingenuity and good old-fashioned American gumption come in.  Because I don’t have a day job at the moment I am left with a massive amount of time that I can spend pondering solutions to the economic crisis.  I haven’t come up with a solution just yet but I have come up with five ways, which you can employ in your daily life, to help you cope with this economic downturn.

1. More earnings “under the table”

A great way to avoid paying excessive taxes on your earnings is to arrange payment in cash.  If you get paid in cash you can report less earnings when you file your taxes. (note: This is VERY illegal)

2. Cut back on fast food

We all love to eat out, but cutting back on your fast food spending can help save money.  You’d be surprised at how much food these restaurants will throw away!  Staking out  a fast food dumpster can be a cheap supply of the food you love.  Also, if you can figure out a way to work from a buffet, then you’ve got it made.

3. Rent out your house

Do you have a few extra rooms?  There are plenty of people looking for a cheap place to call home.  I know a few meth dealers who could use a new place to set up.  Also, if you rent out your room then you have a built in baby sitter!

4. Sell a child

It seems that celebrities are all about adopting kids and paying handsomely for them.  You could really do well if you can make your baby look like it comes from a different country. Celebrities love that crap.

5. Not be poor

The best way I have seen to weather an economic storm is to have a lot of money.  Usually, if you have a lot of money to begin with, you won’t notice when the middle class gets decimated.  Plus you can buy stocks and real estate at record low prices and then just wait for the market to bounce back and become even more wealthy.  That’s really the way to go.

So, what are you doing to beat the recession?  Let me know.

About

Spencer King is quickly becoming one of the most exciting comedians to watch. His insights to everything from penguins to marriage make him a can't-miss favorite at comedy clubs across the country. He has been featured in various comedy festivals across the country including, The Seattle International Comedy Competition, and the North Carolina Comedy Arts Festival. His comedy has been described as 'pleasantly irreverent' and he's sure to make you smile. In fact, his new album 'Pleasantly Irreverent' is available for purchase on this very site!