That'll do pig
People sometimes label me as a pessimist (mostly my wife), which I feel is not entirely accurate. In an effort to be more optimistic I’m taking a look at the bright side of the current world pandemic, swine flu. Now, a pessimist would look at the situation and say, “This is a problem.” But being the optimist that I am, I look at the situation and say, “This is awesome!” Now let me share my optimism with the rest of you. Let’s take a look at Five Good Things About Swine Flu.
1. Less Crowded Public Transportation
Given the fact that people are getting completely freaked out by this, people are abandoning travel on planes, buses, and subways. Imagine making the commute to work on a subway car that you have all to yourself. Just a little sneeze or cough and that dream can become a reality. People will practically be jumping out of the windows to get away from you.
2. Discounted Pork Products
Now that people will be afraid to eat pork, the prices should fall dramatically. Look for bacon on sale for a nickel at your local grocery store. Mmmm, bacon.
3. Population Control
If this thing REALLY takes off, we could be looking at the loss of millions of lives. However tragic this may be, the population of the world would be kept in check. This means that Chinese people would be able to have more kids. Also, people wouldn’t give those dirty looks to the mothers at the grocery store with six kids under the age of five.
4. Anti-terrorism
Last time I checked, the countries that harbor terrorist organizations don’t have great health care. If somehow swine flu were to infiltrate Al Qaeda maybe it would solve the problem naturally.
5. Kick Ass Droid Name
If you haven’t heard, in an effort to not blame pigs the media has been using the name H1N1 in it’s news reports regarding the swine flu. Personally, I think that H1N1 is a crappy name for a virus, but a super kick ass name for a droid. If they make another Star Wars movie, (I sooo hope they don’t) I think having a droid named H1N1 would be pretty sweet.
So there you have it. Don’t look at this like it’s a problem, look at it as a way to advance our civilization.
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i always advice my kids to wear face masks when going into crowded areas. swine flu is really scary and i dont want my kids getting infected by it.