Bloggy Laziness

Yes, it's been a year since I've made a post. A lot has happened since then, but mostly I've just been lazy. When it comes to writing something that is entertaining, you encounter a lot of pressure. I'm a comedian, so people expect me to be funny. Sometimes I can be, but most of the time I just try to get my point across and be myself. Right now I'm sitting in a classroom waiting for my group to present our senior project. Honestly, I really don't care about it other people's projects. I just want to get mine over with.



We did a good job and you can see the finished result here:

http://www.skiutah.com/blog


Also, I'm hoping to get a job here soon. It should be an interesting summer.

American Idle

If you haven't been tuning in to American Idol this season, you're not missing much. Well, when I say "much" I really mean "much talent." Why, of course there are people that are decent enough to make it to Hollywood. It seems that the focus of the first few episodes of American Idol are on those who, for the lack of a better word, 'suck' at singing.

I totally get it though. The producers know exactly what America wants to see during the first few episodes. We want to see self-delusional people fail miserably. It's hysterical. Every time I see some self-delusional contestant get smacked over the head with the icy-cold Bat of Reality, I laugh, and laugh, and laugh. That's not supposed to be sarcastic either. I really laugh. I find it extremely funny. Sure, you might think it's mean, but I can't help it. It's always the same with these people. They come into the room, and #1: They look weird; #2: They act weird; and finally, #3: they sound weird. Then they sing, and it's the most hideous sound you've ever heard joined together with crazy voodoo-looking non-rhythmic dancing. These are the same people who enter the audition brimming with... well... I wouldn't call it confidence. It's more a sense of false-hope.

Then the judges tell them they are bad and the real fun starts. Step 1, Denial: The contestants can't believe that they are hearing that they are lousy. "I can't believe you would say I'm a bad singer!" Step 2, Wrath: The bleeping starts as they talk about how stupid the judges are. "Simon is an @$$#*!!" Step 3, More Denial: They talk about how they don't care what the judges think. They are still the best in the world. "I know I can sing." Uh, no. You can't.

Don't these people have friends? Because no 'friend' would tell them that they could sing. If so, those people would not be their friends. And if I were there when these so called 'friends' told them they could sing, I'd smack them upside the head.

Those 'friends' are the same people that invented those 'participation' ribbons at the school talent show. We don't want people to feel bad so we had to come up with 'Certificates of Participation.' Basically we are afraid to tell people that they suck. We shouldn't be. Denial is not a healthy thing. As Randy would say, "I know we should be supportive, but you gotta draw the line somewhere, Dog."

Why Santa is the Creepiest Person in the World.

Since it's Christmas Eve, I decided to do a post about one of the symbols of Christmas. I was thinking about some of the all time creepiest people ever and among the group of noted people such as the Burger 'King', Ronald McDonald, and Wynona Rider there is the man who we all know as 'Santa Claus'.

One night a year Santa comes into your house through your chimney, which is freaky anyway. Then he's watching us every single moment of our lives. "He sees you when your sleeping." Now if that's not a stalker, I don't know what is.

So remember that Santa is an anagram of Satan. He's evil, and he'll steal your soul, just like a clown.

Okay, so it's been awhile since I've posted anything. I've been really busy. But you don't really care about that. What you care about is the question you are asking yourself right now: What could be so important that Spencer would finally blog about it?

The answer lies within the realm of the holiday known as Christmas. I have been witnessing a plague spreading throughout the land. A horrible plague that reeks havoc on those who succumb to it's power. I'm talking about the plague of...PEOPLE WHO PUT CHRISTMAS WREATHS ON THE FRONT OF THEIR CAR!!

Who thought up this great tradition. When did someone ask themselves, "Hmm. How can I take the spirit of Christmas with me everywhere I go? I know, I'll put a wreath on my car!" I can get getting excited about a holiday. I'm no scrooge, but I really think that putting a wreath on the front of your car is a tad excessive. I love Thanksgiving, but I'm not about to tie a frozen turkey to the front of my car during the month of November. I mean, if we stand by and let this take place people will be attaching more and more things to their cars for more and more holidays. On St. Patrick's Day you'll see some Irish guy driving down the road with a keg strapped to the front of his car, the tap line going right to his mouth.

Now that I'm done with that subject, it's time to move on to a different one. Yesterday, I was driving down the road and I saw a commercial truck driving on the road. Sure enough on the back of the truck it had a little sticker that said, "How's my driving?" and then listed the phone number to call. Is there anybody really calling those numbers. Has Susie the third grade tattle tale become Susan the woman who calls to complain that the truck didn't signal before making a right turn?

I'd like to call one of those numbers just to get the guy in trouble. "Yeah, I saw car number 72277865 picking up a hooker. Is that okay in your company?"

Well anyway, enough rambling for right now.

"Only In Theaters"

I was watching TV yesterday, which is something I tend to do since I'm lazy and don't excercise. As I was watching a preview for a movie came on. I was engaged in the preview when all of a sudden, at the end, they made this statement: "Coming soon, only in theaters!"

Here's my question. Do we really need to put that, "Only in theaters," statement at the end of a movie trailer? I think we all know as soon as we hear that movie announcer voice that it's gonna be 'only in theaters.' When was the last time you saw a movie trailer that said, "...only in theaters, and select interstate truck stops"?

Besides, it's going to eventually come out on DVD anyway. So really they should be saying, "Coming soon to theaters, and eventually to DVD."

It's like putting a subtitle on a movie that explains the plot. It's annoying. It's insulting to my intelligence. I don't like it.

When Does It Stop?

If you haven't heard, a record producer in the UK is making Shaun "Diddy" Combs change his name again.

Here's the story:

http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/Music/09/11/diddy.dispute.ap/index.html

Now in honor of Diddy's newest name change I've decided to hold a competition. What do you think his next name should be? Leave a comment letting me know.

Fun weekend ahead!

I'm having a good week and am looking forward to the weekend. On Wednesday Wiseguys was able to present two shows by Frank Caliendo. You know frank from his work on Mad TV and his impressions on the NFL on Fox. He was hilarious and I had a great time.




Last night was the first night of the Rocky Mountain Laugh Off(RMLO). I finished the first night in a three way tie for 5th place, so that wasn't too bad, but there is also room for improvement. There was also an article about the Laugh Off that appeared in a weekly magazine here in Salt Lake. It featured a photo of yours truly and my friend and fellow competitor Aaron Burrell. You can read the article here:

http://www.slweekly.com/article.cfm/funnybusiness

So I have four nights and six shows left before this thing is over. It's going to be a lot of fun.