CNN.com - Regis to host 'New Year's Rockin' Eve'

Question: How do you make one of the lamest New Year's Eve shows even lamer?

Answer: Take away the 75 year old, decaying host and bring in one of the most annoying people on television.

Of all the people in the world that they could get to replace Dick "I-can't-believe-I'm-still-alive" Clark, they choose Regis "Is-that-your-final-answer" Philbin. This has to be one of the signs of the apocalypse.

There is no way that this will be a good program. I know that Regis is a decent T.V. personality but he is far from "hip".

Philbin said, "It's the greatest 'temp job' in the world. I just hope I can uphold the standards Dick Clark has set for this annual event..."

Regis, as long as you stay alive you'll be living up to my expectations. Every year I wonder if Dick Clark is gonna croak during the countdown. "Five...four...three...auuugghghg!" Looks like he won't be having a new year.

I never watch the program anyway. I'll probably stay up till midnight with my wife and as soon as it happens I'll go to bed. My life is so exciting!