Santa and Child Labor
Well, since it's the Christmas season I thought I'd spice up the blog a little bit. I also thought that I could reach back into the archives for a very funny post I wrote last year. It's a Christmas classic. I hope you enjoy it.
Each year during the Christmas season, millions of kids all over the world are blessed by one individual who sacrifices everything in his life to make the children happy. Who is this man who supposedly has such great love for the children of the world? None other than Santa Claus. This jolly, old, fat white man dressed in red flies throughout the world giving presents to millions of 'good' children every year.
Just how the heck is he able to make that many presents over the course of a year? Surely he can't do it by himself. Society has accepted the fact that to accomplish this enormous task, Santa enlists the help of a group of magical and small creatures; the elves. These little people are said to help Santa build all the toys that Santa dishes out to the children each year, but I have discovered something about these 'elves'. THEY DON'T EXIST!
As shocking as that might be for some of you readers out there it is the cold hard truth. Elves are mythical creatures and if they did exist they'd probably be more like the elves from the Lord of the Rings movies and not some little midgets. So then who does make the toys for Santa? The answer will shock and horrify you. All these years Santa has been using child labor to make his toys! That's right. Santa, the jolly old elf himself, has lied to the world trying to pass off his free child labor as a group of made up creatures.
These poor kids are forced to work in freezing conditions up in the north pole where they work 16 hour days and get very little to eat. Santa gets his kids from his 'bad' list. He kidnaps them and forces them to eat a special blend of soup made from reindeer fur and holly which stunts the childs growth. They cannot die of natural causes and are forced into slave labor in Santas horrific toy building shop. The only way out is death by accident or suicide.
The world chooses to ignore this information and various world leaders have even held secret meetings and decided that kids on the 'bad' list deserve it. Is it right for this to go on? No, its not. So I have decided to campaign against Santa and his child-laboring fat can. Together we can rid the world of Santa and his tyranny.
Each year during the Christmas season, millions of kids all over the world are blessed by one individual who sacrifices everything in his life to make the children happy. Who is this man who supposedly has such great love for the children of the world? None other than Santa Claus. This jolly, old, fat white man dressed in red flies throughout the world giving presents to millions of 'good' children every year.
Just how the heck is he able to make that many presents over the course of a year? Surely he can't do it by himself. Society has accepted the fact that to accomplish this enormous task, Santa enlists the help of a group of magical and small creatures; the elves. These little people are said to help Santa build all the toys that Santa dishes out to the children each year, but I have discovered something about these 'elves'. THEY DON'T EXIST!
As shocking as that might be for some of you readers out there it is the cold hard truth. Elves are mythical creatures and if they did exist they'd probably be more like the elves from the Lord of the Rings movies and not some little midgets. So then who does make the toys for Santa? The answer will shock and horrify you. All these years Santa has been using child labor to make his toys! That's right. Santa, the jolly old elf himself, has lied to the world trying to pass off his free child labor as a group of made up creatures.
These poor kids are forced to work in freezing conditions up in the north pole where they work 16 hour days and get very little to eat. Santa gets his kids from his 'bad' list. He kidnaps them and forces them to eat a special blend of soup made from reindeer fur and holly which stunts the childs growth. They cannot die of natural causes and are forced into slave labor in Santas horrific toy building shop. The only way out is death by accident or suicide.
The world chooses to ignore this information and various world leaders have even held secret meetings and decided that kids on the 'bad' list deserve it. Is it right for this to go on? No, its not. So I have decided to campaign against Santa and his child-laboring fat can. Together we can rid the world of Santa and his tyranny.
posted by Spencer at
2:11 PM
1 Comments:
that's funny dude..
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