An Ode to Vienna Sausages

To me one of the most underrated foods that we have available to us today is Vienna sausages. I know what some of you are thinking: "Eww, those things are gross!" "I ate some and got sick one time." "What are those things even made of?"

I have to say that I love them. They are the perfect late-night-right-before-I-go-to-bed snack food. They are soft and pink, like little squishy fingers. They don't taste like fingers though. They really don't taste like anything that I can describe. Then again, I've never tasted fingers, so they could in all actuality taste just like fingers.

My favorite part about the Vienna sausage is the mystery. We don't know exactly what it's made of. It says on the can that it's made with chicken, beef, and pork, but they don't say what parts. I get a thrill each time I bite into a Vienna sausage and think to myself that I just could have eaten a chicken's foot mixed in with a cow's rectum and pig's tonsils. The possibilities are endless!

But seriously, why would you eat one type of meat, when you can have multiple types of meat together in perfect heart-stopping harmony? The Vienna sausage ranks right up there with bologna.

Mmmmmm.

And now a haiku about Vienna Sausages:

Soft and pink are we
Made of various weird parts
Ignorance is bliss!

Thank you.