Introducing: Spencerisms!

Spencerisms are inspirational quotes that I tweak to make them seem not so inspirational. Here is the first batch of quotes. More to come later.

We all smile in the same language... english.

Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow...but you will get one hell of a sunburn.

We are all one family under the same sky...a dysfunctional family, but the same family none the less.

Life challenges us in different ways...especially if you're poor.

Wherever we came from, whenever we came, we're all in the same boat now...and it's got a big hole.

The best defense against prejudice is excellence...just look at the NBA.

When anger rises, think of the consequences...and if it won't put you in jail, go for it.

Every man is guilty of all the good he didn't do...so we're screwed either way.

To lead the people, walk behind them...but be prepared for strange odors.

Make yourself necessary to somebody...and then bleed 'em dry

Seldom does an individual exceed his own expectations...so give up now.

The journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step...followed by a b'zillion others.

We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another...or by ripping a wing off someone else and sewing it to our back.

May you live all the days of your life...and die on the last one.

No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted...but they are often overlooked.

Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up...or they're really stupid.

The largest living land mammal is the absent mind...and all this time I thought it was the elephant.