I’m sure there are a lot of people who are happy that the detention facility at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba is going to be shutting it’s doors. I’m sure that a lot of you feel like this announcement means that Barack Obama is going to deliver on all his promises. Well good for you. I just have one question for you: What are we going to do with all those detainees?

People need to understand that we’re not just letting these people go. We are moving them somewhere. The problem is, nobody really knows exactly where. I have consulted my various other personalities and we have come up with a few ideas that, not only solve the problem of what to do with the detainees, make it entertaining while being done.

Since reality TV is still around why not take make the Gitmo transfer a reality show? There are a few different ways this could be done:

#1 Dancing with Ashar

The detainees team up with professional dancers in a no-holds-barred dance competition. The winner gets a free pass to go back to the Middle East and the losers are tried and executed for their terrorist crimes. It’s a win win situation.

#2 So You Think You Can Swim?

This would be by far the easiest way to not only have an entertaining reality show, but also a great way to cull down the 240 or so detainees to a mere 10 or 15. The show would involve the entire group of detainees starting out for a swim from Cuba to Florida. Those who make it will win a special dinner with a supermodel of their choice, and then be tried for their terrorist crimes and executed.

#3 Are You Smarter Than a Redneck With a Rifle?

This option would satisfy the Right Wing’s desire for retaliation of those terror suspects while still giving them a sporting chance. The detainees are released onto a 100 acre parcel of land and have to survive for a week while a group of crazy militia rednecks try to hunt them down. If they survive, they get a trial and are then subsequently executed for their terrorist acts.

I think these ideas should really gain some public support.  Let us hope that by the end of the year we have a few shows that take advantage of these ideas.  If we can’t keep these guys locked up in Cuba we should at least get some kind of entertainment value out of them, right?

I have no doubt that this post will make me very unpopular to a lot of the blogosphere but I really don’t care about that.  I felt like I just needed to get this out there.  Today was inauguration day and unlike many millions of people throughout the country, I was not glued to a television set watching it, tears streaming down my face.  I just saw it as a normal day being marked by the victory of a peaceful transition of power from one president to another.  Sure this event was historical, but people are acting like this one event is some kind of universal cure all, a panacea, that will rid the country and world of all its ills.

You can call me a Scrooge, or even unpatriotic, but I don’t believe that Barack Obama has done anything yet that is deserving of the hero worship he has been receiving.  He’s a good guy who wants to change things for the better and for that I applaud him.  We’ve elected him based on that message of change.  It seems that a lot of people are acting as if this change has already taken place and they are frolicking in the streets and shouting praises for a man who has yet to serve one full day in office.  Don’t you think we ought to at least wait a few months before we go declaring Barack Obama as the messiah that this country needs.  I don’t think it’s fair to put that kind of pressure on a person.  It’s hard to be scrutinized in every aspect of your life.

I’m glad that people have a brighter outlook on how things will go, but we’re still in a recession, and a war.  The magical Barack Obama fairies haven’t just taken those problems away.  We still have the same problems as yesterday, and now we have a new leader who has to deal with it while millions of people believe he can magically fix it.  The real estate market hasn’t magically been fixed.  People who have lost their homes didn’t get them back.  Last time I checked my credit card debt was still there.  What happens in a year when the recession is still around and we still have troops in Iraq?  Will people still be praising the name of Obama with tears streaming down their faces?  When the honeymoon is over will people realize that Barack Obama, as charismatic as he may be, is still just a man?  Will they be forgiving of a president who doesn’t magically fix the world in a matter of days?

Now is the time for this country to get its head out of the clouds and back to the ground.  This is where the hard work starts.  Barack knows what he’s getting into, so please, let the man do his job.

John McCain

John, you get to be on the list because you just can’t seem to stand in one spot during a debate.  I thought it was hilarious the way he aimlessly walked around the stage while Barack Obama was speaking.  I’ll bet he really pissed off the director.  This also led to several hilarious lampoons on various late night talk shows.  Congratulations Mr. McCain, I’m sure you’ll make the list again.

Jamie Lynn Spears

What is up with those Spears girls.  As soon as they have a kid it’s like opening the flood gates and they just keep popping them out.  Did nobody teach them sex-ed ever?  So now you’ll have two children and you won’t even be twenty yet!  You know who’s happy about this?  Sarah Palin’s daugther Bristol.  She has never been so happy about anything in her life.  “Thanks for taking the focus off me!”

Louis Farrakhan

This week Louis referred to Barack Obama as the ‘Messiah’.  Hmmm.  Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s not accurate, Louis.  Maybe you should lay off the crack.  This is the kind of fanaticism that makes me hate my choices this election.  I think America is in trouble regardless of who gets elected.