Big Budah

Well, I got up at 4:45 this morning to do a spot on a local morning show to highlight “The Night of Fools” which will help the Utah Food Bank.  I didn’t realize how tired I was till I watched the clip later and realized that I had no energy at all during this segment.  Also, I don’t get on TV all that much so I’m not used to it.  Well, here it is in case you missed it.

Hope you like it.

Watch my show!

So, I’m going to tell you a little story about a friend of mine named Matt Iseman.  He is a great comedian/doctor who currently is the host of Sports Soup on VS.  Not a lot of people know about this network, but it’s getting better.  Sports Soup is basically like The Soup but with sports clips.  My favorite part about the show is that they really take it to the commentators and talking heads on the different networks.  No one is safe.  You should have seen them rip on Barkley.

The clips are usually really funny and often involve people getting hit in the head or nuts.  You gotta love that.  Matt does a very good job and his delightful candor really helps you totally understand the clip.  That’s a total plug for my friend.

You should definitely check it out.

A clip from Sports Soup

I’m sure there are a lot of people who are happy that the detention facility at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba is going to be shutting it’s doors. I’m sure that a lot of you feel like this announcement means that Barack Obama is going to deliver on all his promises. Well good for you. I just have one question for you: What are we going to do with all those detainees?

People need to understand that we’re not just letting these people go. We are moving them somewhere. The problem is, nobody really knows exactly where. I have consulted my various other personalities and we have come up with a few ideas that, not only solve the problem of what to do with the detainees, make it entertaining while being done.

Since reality TV is still around why not take make the Gitmo transfer a reality show? There are a few different ways this could be done:

#1 Dancing with Ashar

The detainees team up with professional dancers in a no-holds-barred dance competition. The winner gets a free pass to go back to the Middle East and the losers are tried and executed for their terrorist crimes. It’s a win win situation.

#2 So You Think You Can Swim?

This would be by far the easiest way to not only have an entertaining reality show, but also a great way to cull down the 240 or so detainees to a mere 10 or 15. The show would involve the entire group of detainees starting out for a swim from Cuba to Florida. Those who make it will win a special dinner with a supermodel of their choice, and then be tried for their terrorist crimes and executed.

#3 Are You Smarter Than a Redneck With a Rifle?

This option would satisfy the Right Wing’s desire for retaliation of those terror suspects while still giving them a sporting chance. The detainees are released onto a 100 acre parcel of land and have to survive for a week while a group of crazy militia rednecks try to hunt them down. If they survive, they get a trial and are then subsequently executed for their terrorist acts.

I think these ideas should really gain some public support.  Let us hope that by the end of the year we have a few shows that take advantage of these ideas.  If we can’t keep these guys locked up in Cuba we should at least get some kind of entertainment value out of them, right?